WHO THE HELL ARE WE?

DIGGING DEEP INTO THE SISTERS. (EUUUW)

*** This page is still under construction ***

You have to admit, we do look fabulous! We know you want to know more though, don’t you? 

To find out what makes each of us tick. The saints beneath the paint. 

So, have a read of our mini-biogs here. In the not too distant future, each Sister will have a web page all to themselves, which they will fill with ramblings, thoughts, feelings and general chit chat. 

(Coming around 2068 or thereabouts, knowing what Sisters are like to organise. Like juggling dust trying to sort them out, I can tell you…)

Full name:
Sister Martini Bianca Anytime Anyplace Anywhere

Unique Selling Point:
Knit extremely long scarves in rainbow colours to cope with the interminable boredom from your ramblings.

Superpower:
The ability to reduce everyone to little piles of dust with one venomous look. ‘Martini the Medusa’.

Postulant start: 13th April 1442
Novice start: 1st January 1666
Black veiled: 28th October 1996

 

Full name:
Sister BangBang Ladesh

Unique Selling Point:
To not need a microphone as she’s got a voice like a fog horn and face to match.

Superpower:
To spread glitter throughout the world by flying whilst keeping her legs wide open.

Postulant start: 11th November 2014
Novice start: 27th August 2015
Black veiled: 14th February 2016

Full name:
Sister Polly Amorosa of the Blessed Mercy Beau Cul and Bona Aris

Unique Selling Point:
Pollytix, hugs and smiles

Superpower:
Flying, because she can flash the world (jock ‘n tush queen)

Postulant start: 12th February 2016
Novice start: 1st October 2017
Black veiled: 25th June 2017

Full name:
Sister Roly Meover OnTheHaigh

Unique Selling Point:
The lazy cow still has written this yet. 

Full name:
Sister Judy De Ryder

Unique Selling Point:
She’s the vegan nun. She loves vegetables that much that she’s banned from most major supermarkets. Ask about her egg and dairy free hollandaise sauce (she also does a foaming version)

Superpower:
The ability to make politicians answer questions honestly…or at all. This would reduce the amount of time we would have to listen to them. Think of the air time we could free up for Bake Off re-runs.

Postulant start: August 2016
Novice start: April 2017
Black veiled: March 2018

Novice Sister Bootrice at the vestition

Full name:
Sister Bootrice Leatherbottom of the High Cuir

Unique Selling Point:

Superpower:

Postulant start:
Novice start:
Black veiled:

Full name:
Novice Sister Mona Key

Unique Selling Point:
She’s very good at tying knots. Especially useful when the gathered faithful are trying to wiggle about too much

Superpower:
Teleportation. There are so many places she’d like to go but not enough time. If only she could just click her heels.

Postulant start: 3rd March 2018
Novice start: 25th August 2018
Black veiled:

Full name:
Sister Judy De Ryder

Unique Selling Point:
She’s the vegan nun. She loves vegetables that much that she’s banned from most major supermarkets. Ask about her egg and dairy free hollandaise sauce (she also does a foaming version)

Superpower:
The ability to make politicians answer questions honestly…or at all. This would reduce the amount of time we would have to listen to them. Think of the air time we could free up for Bake Off re-runs.

Postulant start: August 2016
Novice start: April 2017
Black veiled: March 2018